"But I'm not Peter...He is" - Finding Neverland

Things are weird right now. My hours at work have changed. I am now on a Wednesday through Sunday shift. It's not so bad because I don't have to worry about administration during the weekend. The guys on the weekend shift are pretty cool. There's only me and another girl that work during the weekends and she's awesome. The guys, although married, find every way to hit on me. I kills me that they always seem to make flattering comments and I just eat them up. Not that I would ever act on it or anything. But one of them made a comment that kind of bothered me...not that I was grossed out by it...nothing like that. But he said that if he wasn't married he would be asking me out everyday and that guys must ask me out all the time. And it's strange that he said that because it's so not even true. I can't even get a call back. They (guys at work) act like boys are knocking down my door. WHATEVER!!! I think what it is, is that guys my age, are looking for girls to "hook up with" not girls to "date". But it is very much a double standard.

I did the craziest thing yesterday...actually Friday. I had this sudden urge to call Peter...but I knew I couldn't. But I was turning into the crazy, psycho, obsessed woman that lurks in every female (and gay male) body. So everytime I wanted to call him, I would call Keri (or "K" as she would like to be described in her blog) and have her talk me down from my ledge. And then it got to a point where I erased all evidence of his phone number from my phone (outgoing calls) and sealed his business card in an envelope and then sealed it again in another envelope and then mailed it to myself in Atlanta just so I wouldn't be stupid enough to call him...not even drunk dial him. So that's what I did. Never mind the fact that I drive by the park he takes his dog to, or by the restaurant where he works, or shop at the Whole Foods where his second job is located, or the Yoga studio he goes to...once again this is Psycho Girl doing this...not me! Why can I not accept the fact that he's just not that into me. I was watching Sex and the City last night, and I had mixed messages about what I should do and what I shouldn't. Carrie called Burger for their date and Miranda came to the conclusion that her Real Estate Date was just not into her. Then there's Charlotte who found love where she least expected it and Samantha...well I'll leave her part up to my friend Carol or Taylor :) Whoever comes first (no pun intended)

Craig, your problem is you have no game...now your father, he has game!

I have come to the conclusion that I have no game. I'm a failure...a failure at pretty much everything. Without going through the boring details I can probably sum everything up in two words - BOYS SUCK!!! When they ask you for your phone number, call you pretty, hug you, and talk to you, and then get your hopes up and then never call. What's up with that shit??? I'm almost offended, not really hurt because I didn't know him well enough for him to hurt me. I'm just have this "WHAT THE FUCK?" attitude right now.

I've made up several excuses for him:
1. Something happened where he had to go home
2. He lost my phone number
3. Something happened to his dog
4. He got in a car wreck and is in the hospital
5. He got arrested
6. His ex-girlfriend broke into his house and erased all his messages
7. His ex-girlfriend hacked into his email and erased all his messages

Okay, I know you're thinking that numbers 6 & 7 seem pretty far off on the deep end...but I have to sadly admit that I have done those things. Maybe Karma is biting me in the ass right now and laughing maliciously at my life. "Ha Ha! You crazy psycho bitch!!"

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Oh my god!! I wrote the longest ass blog entry and it was erased!!!
MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!