Over Reaction

So I totally over reacted. He really was sick.

But this week is a different story. We've seen each other twice this week which was nice. This weekend he doesn't have his kids which translates in my mind that we would spend a lot of time together. I had Saturday night all planned out but in his defense I failed to mention it to him. He is to fly out on Sunday for work for an entire week. So I won't see him in a while. I asked him what he was doing tonight and he has plans with a friend.

So right now my feelings are hurt.

It's time

I knew it was too good to be true. Not that anything has happened. I just know that he probably doesn't want to see me anymore. You know you just feel it in your gut and it doesn't feel right. It's not butterflies, nor is it your palms sweating. It's the sick feeling that you're about to get dumped and you know you're not going to be feeling good about this. THIS IS WHY I DON'T DATE!!!!

Amazing (unsafe) Sex

So, we have had sex... I know, it's early... really early. But it's great. It's mind blowing. But we do have a habit of not practicing safe sex. I hope there's not a little Beaver running around 9 months from now. I just want to work on us and hope that this relationship works out, rather than throw a wrench in the whole thing. God, things would get so screwed up... fast.

I don't know what's going on with him. I don't know what he wants. I'm not sure if he's looking for The One Relationship or if he's just trying to find people he wants to hang out with. I mean, I am looking for someone but I'm not looking for someone to save me. That I would like to call as the Disney Princess Syndrome.

I just hope we work out. At least work out long enough for my milk in my refrigerator to spoil.

Lennys, Liverhearts and a very very late night

Things are going so well between me and the Beav. I really do like him. I miss him. But I'm not worried about him. The best thing about him, is that I don't have to worry about him. I know that if I have a question, that he would answer it. If he didn't want to see me anymore, that he would tell me. I don't know why, but I don't freak out if he's not with me or not by my side or if he hasn't called me. I trust him. And that's the best part of us and this relationship.

Leave it to Beaver

This past weekend I hosted potluck dinner for my favorite people at work. We had such a great time. Lots of great food and lots of drinks. I'm very fortunate that I work with such wonderful people. The Beav made a surprise appearence. I was so happy he came. And I was even happier when I didn't really have to "babysit" him. He was perfectly fine running around the house taking pictures of people he didn't even know while I visited with my friends. He bonded well with the non-depot employees... the boyfriends of those who I work with. He stayed over that night, and for the first time I was comfortable with him being there.

A week later and things couldn't be better between us. It's almost scary. He confessed that I had him when I checked out his System Preferences on his computer. I know... it's so geeky. But I like it.

What the hell?

The universe has decided to pee on me. After 6 months of not communicating with the redneck I have finally thrown myself out into the dating world and have made an attempt to move on. First move was to sign up for online dating. I'm on Match and EHarmony. I've gotten some pretty interesting feedback. A lot of winks from a lot of old men, which creeps me out. I found out that even though it may be bad to be rejected, but it's even worse if you're rejected by someone you didn't even like to begin with.

I have had a few prospects and actually did meet someone this past weekend. I had a great time. He was really nice and I absolutely had a positive first time on-line dating experience with him. We are definitely into the same things (computers and technology). He's very passionate about music. I was obviously nervous. I figured I would only be out with him for a couple of hours but we were out for about 4-5 hours. I do have a nickname for him and it's The Beav.

So, we got together that following Wednesday night at Carroll Street. Had a good time. The subject of his ex wife did come up more than usual. He gave me her blog address. He basically said that if I want to know what happened between them then I can read her blog. I didn't want to do that, but curiosity got a hold of me and I did. Actually, I printed out her blog and passed it around at work for everyone to read and to judge. We all came to the conclusion that there is still a lot of emotion still there. A lot of unresolved feelings towards each other. And I read his myspace page and he actually wrote a letter to his ex and I don't even know if I really want to get into all of this. Plus the fact that they have 2 beautiful kids together. It's just a little too much at once.

I do like him. And I was so happy after our first date. I don't know what to do... dating is so freakin' hard!!! Do I try and start to invest in this? Or should I just move on to the next online guy and see how that goes?