I need a new version of me... I don't know what it is. But I need a new one.
I went to Jenny and Jacob's baby shower today and saw a lot of old friends and made new ones. Everyone is coupled up. I don't understand what my problem is. Why am I so un-dateable?
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
He says...
He says that it's him and not me.
He told me that his ex-wife couldn't handle his dysfunctional family.
He told me that his his first girlfriend, after his ex-wife, he fell in love with and she broke his heart.
He told me that his last girlfriend couldn't handle the fact that he had kids and an ex-wife.
He told me that he's broken.
Although his MySpace says "He's here to me the mother of his children".
He already knows the mother of his children... it's his ex-wife.
I find myself in tears everyday.
I miss him. I miss being with him.
He told me that his ex-wife couldn't handle his dysfunctional family.
He told me that his his first girlfriend, after his ex-wife, he fell in love with and she broke his heart.
He told me that his last girlfriend couldn't handle the fact that he had kids and an ex-wife.
He told me that he's broken.
Although his MySpace says "He's here to me the mother of his children".
He already knows the mother of his children... it's his ex-wife.
I find myself in tears everyday.
I miss him. I miss being with him.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Venting
I'm bored and lonely. My roommate is out with his boyfriend and I'm at home alone. I promise you this, I'm not complaining about my life. I love my friends and family and I do count my blessing everyday. But is it too much to ask for someone to love me?
I want to fall asleep next to someone and wake up to at the same time. I'm tired of listening to how other people complain about their significant other. For once, I want to be someone's dream and inspiration. I want to love someone with all of my heart. I want to make someone happy, instead of unhappy.
I'm 31 years old and I've never even come close to uttering the words "I Love You" to someone. I just don't think it's ever going to happen for me.
I want to fall asleep next to someone and wake up to at the same time. I'm tired of listening to how other people complain about their significant other. For once, I want to be someone's dream and inspiration. I want to love someone with all of my heart. I want to make someone happy, instead of unhappy.
I'm 31 years old and I've never even come close to uttering the words "I Love You" to someone. I just don't think it's ever going to happen for me.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Wondering
I'm sitting here wondering most minutes of the days, what he's thinking. If he is even thinking of me. We chatted online on Tuesday. He initiated it.
He was more my lobster than any of them. I guess I just miss him... a lot.
He was more my lobster than any of them. I guess I just miss him... a lot.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Gotta...
Gotta get over this. I've come to at least several conclusions:
1. If he wanted to be with me then he would have a long time ago.
2. He obviously does not think about me as much as I think about him.
3. I don't want to be the reason why he's unhappy.
4. I would not change anything. There's nothing to regret.
5. Give up! And get over it!
1. If he wanted to be with me then he would have a long time ago.
2. He obviously does not think about me as much as I think about him.
3. I don't want to be the reason why he's unhappy.
4. I would not change anything. There's nothing to regret.
5. Give up! And get over it!
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