So, I'm driving a good 5.25 hrs to see a boy I barely know. It's not like I'm moving there...but I am driving there and dragging Keri's (smaller due to Weight Watchers) ass with me. I found us a hotel room and finagled my way into 2 free nights using my Marriott Reward points that I racked up while working at Vertis. Don't ask me how I did it...but I did. I think it's that sweet and innocent voice that I send out over the phone...God knows I've deceived a lot of people with it. But hey...I got a new cell phone for free and free hotel nights (not within the same phone conversation).
So, this boy that I'm currently stalking, he's freakin' hot. We've been invited to a party over at his house and we will also tailgate with him before and after the game. So hopefully Keri and I will get lucky, fall in love with a grad student and live happily ever after, living next door to each other with children dressed in Gap clothing. Do you remember how Keri and I have this "don't buy new underwear" theory. Basically, if you buy new underwear, a new outfit, new sheets, a new bed...it's pretty much the kiss of death. You've jinxed it all to hell. But as I was texting Yorkie this morning...I've thought about it and I'm buying a new outfit anyways. My reasoning - it's already jinx, it's over before it began, I rode up Troy's bucket. Mainly because it was all over when I found a picture of him on the internet and set him up as my desktop wallpaper and the icing on the cake is the imagination boyfriend incident. I will not go into detail about that one because it's too embarrassing...although I do like to tell people about it and show them the picture on my laptop...I guess it's like Exhibit A. Oh god! What if I am arrested for stalking and they do have to enter my laptop into evidence??!!! Whatever...the FBI thinks my life is hilarious. They love it when I stalk boys...it probably makes them feel that much better about themselves. But anyways, I'm going to try to prove our theory wrong...tomorrow I will be shopping at Victoria's Secret and will probably have to stop at Macy's for a new outfit.
Well, in conclusion...no one will be there when you need them because you act retarded and have burned all the bridges in your life and no one will drive you home so make sure you have cab fare when you go for your surgery.
Thank god we don't have to worry about drunken tirades anymore!!!
2 comments:
I wouldn't worry about the FBI ... they're proably still busy monitoring "that girl you know" after all the terrorist shit that went down in '01.
It would be nice if life would work out that way. I'm ready for the weekend. Bring on the smart, cute college boys!
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